Ten Things I Don’t Want To Do At The Cottage

There are lot’s of things that I want to do around here, in fact usually there are more things I want to do than I have time to do. My list of want-to-do’s grows almost daily, and seems to be never ending.

However, I have recently come to realize that there are some things I really don’t want to do, and somehow some of those things have turned up on my “to-do” list. The fact that they are still there after a year or more, tells me that I really don’t want to do them.

Here is my list of ten things I do not want to do at the cottage.

10) Encounter a bear trying to break into the kitchen of the camp in the middle of the night to get a taste of Wendy’s homemade bananna bread. We’ve all heard stories of bears trying to get inside a camp while it was occupied. Some of them can be quite determined. Whenever I think of this one, I usually find myself wishing the camp didn’t have so damm many windows.

9) Paint the exterior. As much as I appreciate how good the old camp looks when it’s treated to a fresh coat of paint, I hate painting. I am not keen on working off ladders and quite frankly, I hate getting messed up with paint.

8) Remove the old unused stovepipe. We have a stovepipe that hasn’t been used in 10 years. It was an old chimmney for a combination oil/electric Enterprise Kitchen Range that we used to have hooked up to burn oil to supplement the heating. We haven’t used the oil burner in a decade but the stove pipe is still there, still sticking out the roof of the camp. Much like number 9 above, it involves a ladder.

7) Renovate/repair/restore/move or tear down and rebuild the old shed/garage. This is a big one, I have been putting this off for several years now. I look at the project almost daily and come up with a different plan of action each day. I have concluded that my continual planning followed by complete in-action is proof that I really don’t want to do this job.

6) Clean and paint the window frames. Oh yuck. The windows here, the old ones that haven’t been replaced are good windows, but they are old wooden frame windows. They need to be cleaned and painted. Like number 8 and 9 above, some ladder work is required. This is also something I look at regularly, make a mental note that it needs to be done, then never do it.

5) Finish the interior of the extra room. This summer we installed a new window in our extra room. A project that involved taking some panelling off the walls, removing a window and putting in a new one of a different size. That left some of the interior walls unfinished. So far I haven’t gotten around to adding new insulation and drywall, even though I have both in the garage bought specifically for that purpose.

4) Build an outhouse. I often consider how nice it would be to build a little outhouse/privy as a second bathroom to take some of the “load” off of the septic tank (see number 10 above) In fact I have designed my plan for the outhouse, made a list of materials needed, even scouted a couple of good locations to build it. I have written about “the magic of outhouses” here on several occasions, but I still haven’t built one. In retrospect that is because I know what will happen if I do build an outhouse, I will have to use it. While great in theory and romantic prose, an outhouse is typically a creepy, smelly thing, full of God only knows what, including bats, skunks and other critters I don’t even want to think about.

3) Build a new rowboat. We have an old wooden rowboat here that has provided me with years of pleasure. My Dad built it about 50 years ago and it was the ‘camp boat’ for many years. Since then I have used it to row for exercise and just the pure pleasure of floating around in the little boat every summer until the last couple as it has finally become just a little too old and rotten to put in the water. For several years I have had it in my head to build one just like it over the winter, using the same plans. However, as I am no handyman, building a boat, even a rowboat, is not something to be taken lightly, so it has been on the list for the past ten years and I fear it may stay on the list for another ten.

2) Dig up the septic tank. I really don’t want to have to dig the septic tank up and have it pumped. For one thing it is a very smelly job. For another, it’s like opening a can of worms…well more specifically it’s like opening a can of sh-t. Whenever you dig up a septic tank you run the risk of being overcome by the fumes and falling in and drowning…a very unglorious death.

1) It shouldn’t come as any surprise that the number one thing that I do not want to do at the cottage is….disconnect the water pump, drain the plumbing system and close the camp up for winter. No further explanation needed.

Well that pretty much takes care of my to-do list and my don’t-want-to-do list. It seems to me that if I don’t do this stuff I will have much more time for fishing.

How about you? Do you have a list of things you don’t want to do?

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One thought on “Ten Things I Don’t Want To Do At The Cottage”

  1. I agree, regardless of everything else that might need doing around the camp, the one thing we hate to do is shut the water off and close it up for the winter.

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