So what happens when two middle aged men find a kite and about 1000 feet of kite string? They immediately go fly a kite…..unfortunately, when those middle aged kite flying men are on the edge of a lake surrounded by forest, they pick a day with an onshore wind to fly their kite. And you know what that means…..
Well, the first kite got away, someone said it was spotted by some folks touring the CN Tower in Toronto a couple hours later, while other reports suggest it may have come down on the Transcanada Highway south of Fredericton…a transport truck driver and two Gay guys, who were sixty-three year old former hippies in a 1969 Volkswagon camper van reported seeing something rainbow colored fly across the highway around 4 in the afternoon. The police dismissed the report from the hippies, but they are watching the transport driver carefully.
The second kite was doing wonderfully, until a downdraft forced it to dip a little too low, the kite string snapped and it landed about 40 feet high in a maple tree behind the camp. UH-oh…
Attempts to climb the tree were quickly dismissed as not only futile, but crazy, since neither of the kite flyers could be described as “spry” and one of them gets nose bleeds at heights over 6 feet high, it’s embarrassing as hell on a elevator, but I am digressing….
Perhaps not spry, but we are enterprising and creative….What else would a middle aged guy be carrying in his pocket besides more kite string? Well a slingshot and a bag of marbles of course.
I reached into my cargo pants pocket, (don’t ya just love cargo pants, you can carry everything) pulled out my trusty slingshot and fired one off thanks to Wendy’s homemade baked beans, then I shot a marble from the slingshot up toward the kite in the tree. It was then that we were reminded of the old adage, and the lyrics from the Spinning Wheel song, “what goes up, must come down”
Yup, marbles fired from a slingshot straight up, tend to come straight down. It was no time and we had developed a procedure, I shot a marble up at the kite, yelled “Duck!” and immediately we both covered our heads and cowered for an appropriate amount of time, at least until we figured it had probably come back down somewhere else.
After about 35 or 40 shots, the kite, besides being quite beat up and full of holes, dropped down a couple feet in the tree.
By then we had lost all our marbles and the slingshot had jammed. Just in the nick of time too as the RCMP detachment was receiving phone calls from local area residents reporting doughboys and cats-eye marbles landing on houses and cars throughout the neighborhood. The kite was still in the tree, but not to be outdone by a $1.99 piece of plastic, we switched to a fishing rod and a lead weight…just the thing for knocking the kite out of the tree.
Yeah…well the fishing rod idea didn’t go as planned, it only took a couple of casts and it was tangled in the tree as well as the kite so we reverted back to the slingshot. Only now we had lost all our marbles, so we switched over to firing nuts and bolts and anything we could find. I did learn that nuts and bolts when fired from a slingshot, especially if they have a piece of fishing line attached, fly…well….erratically…The fishing line attached to the projectile was an attempt to get a line over the tree branch holding the kite, which we could then use to pull it down.
The girls, sensing this wasn’t going to go well, left in the van, because Wendy was afraid that if we kept up with the slingshot there would be no glass left in the vehicle. Jancy went with her because she didn’t want to be here when the police and probably paramedics arrived.
Eventually the wind came up a bit and the kite miraculously fell from the tree. Unfortunately the marbles had taken a toll on it, and…well….we are not sure if it will ever fly again…However, the women eventually returned from the store bringing us two more brand new kites and lots of string !!
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