Well…well…well. Here I am on the eve of turning 50. Yup, tomorrow I officially become, in some circles, a senior…
Although I don’t feel any different, there seems to be a movement afoot to make me feel different. For example, the television keeps advertising the “Seniors 5o+ Expo” that starts tomorrow. The suppertime news was talking about things you need to do at middle age to stay healthy….none of it sounded too appealing to me….stuff like good nutrition, low animal fat…oh no…multiple vitamins I forget to take, and stuff like ‘flax seed’ and ‘fish oil’ and gulp…‘borax’ I thought borax was something you cleaned silverware with…oh yeah, they said I should be taking something called glucosamine, which doesn’t sound like it comes in Big Mac’s or Jumbo Donairs….and finally, regular exercise…I haven’t gotten any of that since we got a remote control for the television….
The wife, (I can call her that since I am 50) and a friend and my daughter have been busy decorating the place for a small party she is having, I think for my birthday but I’m not sure….since I am old now, I am not always sure what is going on….I do know I am getting a little fed up with banners all over the place announcing I am over the hill, and Warning 50th Birthday In Progress….and if I find pink flamingos on the lawn tomorrow….well….
I’m pretty sure that if we didn’t have birthdays, it might be easier to stay young. Because even if you feel young, people start saying things like, ‘you need to slow down a bit now, take it easy, how ya feeling? did you get your senior’s discount card? this is a milestone, you’re an old man now….how’s it feel? Had your prostate checked yet???? Whaaaa???? Prostate….nobody said anything about prostate until now…and now that seems to be all they are talking about…men in their 50’s….male menopause…male pattern baldness….male hormone imbalance…what’s that? I didn’t know men had hormones, and what about that testosterone? How are those levels big guy? And of course the umm…well…more delicate one that someone always says, “Ya know, if you are…um…having difficulty, they have medicine for that now, talk to your Doctor…”
Actually, this is an interesting age for me. It’s the one that I have been waiting for, because it is where life began for so many of the men I grew up with. It’s a time for shucking off the job and going fishing, going hunting, going to the cottage, buying a condo in Florida in some nice senior’s villa….wait not that…but the fishing and hunting and boating….50 means I am one year away from some kind of freedom, I can retire and get on with the stuff I want to do instead of the stuff I have to do. I can write that book, promote this blog, paint a few pictures, buy and old wooden boat and redo it, turn the cottage into a summer ‘palace’ instead of a summer ‘place.’
It’s also a time to watch my children turn into adults, and become the people I always dreamed they would become, and they are. It’s time to watch my wife get more lovely everyday, as my eyes grow worse with cataracts….actually if she reads that I may not make it to 50 tomorrow, so let’s scratch that one….
So to all of you 50 or turning 50, I wish you Happy Birthday and Good Luck, to those of you not turning 50….wanna trade places with me???
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